SO HOW'S YOUR SPRING BREAK?

"So...how's your spring break going?"

This was a question I was asked last night.

I hesitated with my answer because I wasn't really sure what to say.

My first thought was to answer, "Boring."  But that's just really negative and makes the conversation awkward from that point on.

Instead I said something like, "Ahhhh...it's...goooood."

The person who asked me this question sort of looked at me like, "Well it doesn't SOUND good."

But then I said, "You know...it's times like these that I'm happy we have children who are content to be home-bodies.  Although, if we all had our choice, we'd be in San Diego."

Unfortunately, trips to San Diego just aren't in the budget for spring break let alone all the other times we desire to go there.  "Some day," seems to be the answer to this topic of conversation.

But back to being at home.

I started thinking about this a little more last night.

Of the four of us in our family, I'm the one who wants to be "going" and "doing" stuff.  Don't get me wrong...I love home...but I like to escape it once in a while.  When I am home I tend to see things that constantly need to get accomplished:  laundry, dishes, cleaning, laundry, picking up dog poop, vacuuming, laundry, feeding people, more dishes, and yes...more laundry.  Venturing out for entertainment is something I thoroughly enjoy and desire to do on a regular basis.  I would be considered the "adventurous" one in the family saying things like, "Hey!  Wanna go do this....?" or "Wouldn't THIS....be fun to do today?"  I desire to venture out from the place I spend the majority of my day doing the majority of my work.  When the weekend comes I can guarantee you Scott won't say, "You know what I would LOVE to do this weekend?  Go hang out as a family in my cubicle where I spend the majority of my time during the week!  Wouldn't THAT be fun?"  Or you certainly won't hear my kids say, "Can we go back to school after dinner and just hang out there and then do the same this weekend?"  No...these are the places they want to escape from...not go back to during their down-time.  It's a little the same for me.

Their response to my question of "doing stuff" is usually met with something like, "Eh..." or "Um...not really.  Sorry, mom!"

But I get it.  Really...I do.

For my family, home is where they long to be after a long day at work or school.  It's where they desire to just hang out when they have a break.  Unlike me, they spend significantly less time at home and when they have the opportunity to be here, this is where they want to stay.  They are content here.  They don't care about the to-do list stated above.  "Home Sweet Home" is their place of refuge from the rest of life.  It's their place to relax and unwind and simply "be."

So back to the question, "How's your spring break going?"

I guess my answer is that those in our home who are ON spring break are enjoying it.  For Scott and me, it's just a regular week with children being at home.  It's fine...but certainly nothing exciting.  And I guess that's okay.  How horrible would it be to have children who expected grandness every time they have a break from school?  I am beyond thankful that this is not the case for us.

I do secretly hope, however, that before Parker graduates from high school...and then again before Faith graduates...we can spend the week of spring break some place a little more "spring-breakish."

But for now...we're gonna wrap up the week by spending some time outside today (because it was a whopping 40 degrees yesterday and today is looking pretty good so far, too!), meeting Parker's youth director, along with another youth and her family, for dinner tonight and then maybe tomorrow we'll go bowling.  But we're not doing anything before we pick up dog poop from the back yard.

:)

Wishing you a peaceFULLYsimple day!


peace.
jeanine

IF THERE WAS EVER ANY DOUBT...

I have never had any doubts about being a stay-at-home mom.

I love being mom to my kids.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if they care about having me home as much as I care about being home with them.

Every time I wonder they inadvertently prove to me that they do care.

Take for instance the last two weeks.

I've been gone more-so than usual.

Scott and I have both had meetings at the same time during the evening.  Parker is now old enough to take care of his sister.  But they won't go to bed before we get home.  And if we're gone later than expected, neither one of them like it.

The past couple of weeks I've had a small job tending a parade of homes model for our Realtor friend.  Tonight I got home and aside from the three dogs nearly knocking me over when I came in from the garage, the first one to greet me was not our nine-year old little girl...no...it was our fourteen-year old son.  I hardly set foot in the kitchen and there he was coming at me with his big signature "grin," arms stretched out wide and when he got to me he gave me one of his big ol' bear hugs!  "HI, MOM!!", he said, "How was your day?"  I barely answered with, "It was good," before he jumped into telling me about his day at school.

If you haven't figured it out yet...

I LOVE BEING A MOM!


Wishing you a peaceFULLYsimple day!

peace.
jeanine

ONE YEAR AND LOTS OF CHANGES

One year ago today my husband, Scott, woke up with what he had originally thought was a migraine headache but quickly discovered it wasn't going away.  His vision was significantly distorted in his right eye...his only eye, as his left eye is artificial.  We called his eye doctor and got in that morning.

As I drove our children to school that morning they asked, "Mom...what's going on?  Is dad going to be okay?"  As confidently as I could I told them that the doctors would figure out what's going on and not to worry.  All would be well.

Little did I know I was telling an untruth.

I got home and Scott and I left for the doctor.  Once there we quickly felt things spin quickly out of control.  Scott's doctor did not give a diagnosis but wanted him to see a specialist that afternoon.  We had to be across town to the specialist's office by 2 PM.  Scott's doctor recommended he not eat lunch...just in case a procedure was necessary.  We could feel our bodies tense.

Once at the specialist's it didn't take long for him to make a diagnosis.  Scott's retina was about 2/3 detached.  He needed surgery...not the next day, but that day.  Waiting a day could have risked almost complete detachment of the retina.  He was scheduled for surgery at 6 PM that evening.  He needed to be to the hospital by 4 PM.

My husband is one to keep his cool in these situations.  After four cancers himself and two children who each had cancer diagnosis as babies...he has learned to be stronger than necessary...mostly because he wants to stay strong to ease the nerves of everyone else around him.  Losing his vision, though, is something he has always feared and this diagnosis made that fear all too real.

He was scared.  So was I.

The specialist told Scott that there were no guarantees.  Even after surgery his vision could end up being compromised.  The fear of blindness was something Scott and I talked to each other about.  What would we do if this happened?  We decided to leave it in God's hands and cross each bridge as we got to them.  Right now, surgery was the bridge to cross.  Healing would be the next one.  One day at a time...letting God lead.

As we waited at the hospital, I made phone calls.  Scott's mom was already with us so she called his dad.  I called my parents.  They would be at the house when the kids got off the bus.  I called our pastor.  He asked me if he could come to the hospital.  I said, "Yes, please."  Scott and I wanted our kids.  We needed them there.  Our underlying fear was what if the day prior to this one had been the last day Scott would have even seen our children clearly...without cloudy, distorted vision?  He not only wanted Parker and Faith there so he could hug them and kiss them before surgery, but he wanted to SEE them before surgery.  He wanted to see everything about them.  So I called my brother and asked him if he would be willing to drop everything and pick up the kids at our house to bring them to the hospital.  I didn't want my 80+ year old parents to have to navigate city driving to get the kids to us.  My brother said he'd get them there as quickly as he could.

By the time Scott was prepped for surgery he was surrounded with love.  I was there.  His parent's were there.  Pastor Steve was there.  We waited for what seemed like hours...even though it wasn't...and then the kids were there with my brother and our oldest niece (18), who wanted to see Uncle Scott, too.  We talked, we did a horrible job of pretending not to be nervous.  The kids were so worried...you could see it on their little faces.  They stood as close as they could to daddy's bed.

I could see the fear in my husband.

There were times I felt like I wasn't going to be able to breathe.

Pastor Steve prayed with us.

And they took Scott away to surgery.

Steve had to leave shortly after they took Scott.  I excused myself from the others and walked out into the hallway with him...one because I wanted to thank him for coming and two because the room we were in felt like it was running out of oxygen.  As Steve and I stepped into the hallway I could feel myself take a deep breath.  When I get nervous I tend to hold my breath...and that's exactly what I had been doing.  I remember looking at Steve, voice trembling and saying, "I...am...so...scared."  He said, "I know you are...and it's understandable."  We talked a little more and he gave me phone numbers to reach him at outside of church.  I thanked him for coming and went back to everyone else.

Now it was time to wait for the surgery to be done.

My brother and niece took the kids back home where my parent's were waiting for them.  Scott's parents and I went to the waiting room.  Where I sat...and then paced...and then sat some more.

It felt like forever but the doctor eventually came to tell us the surgery was complete and it had gone well.  Scott could go home that night.  He would need to spend the next ten days completely face down.  His face would need to stay parallel with the floor.  We had already made calls to rent the proper equipment that would keep him "comfortable" during all of this so it was time to get him home and settled him in for healing.  The doctor would also need to see him every day for those next ten days, as well.

Once home we realized the equipment we rented wasn't going to be very helpful.  The next day we figured out how to make this work...which ended up being the futon mattress directly on the floor with neck pillows to rest his face in and an ice pack tied to his back to relieve back pain.

Here's what he looked like during recovery:

It was a long and uncomfortable ten days.  And Scott never complained...not once.

When I asked what I could do for him he would just say he was fine.  He wanted to listen to something.  I'd ask him, "Books?  Music?  What would you like to listen to?"  He wanted me to put the television on the Christian music channel.

He had nothing but time...

...to listen...

...to think...

...to pray...

...to talk to God.

And that's exactly what he did.

After ten days the healing process changed to ten days of eight hours of this continued face-down, eight hours of laying on his left side, then eight hours upright.  He excitedly told me that his eight house upright on Sundays would be used for church.  He missed everyone.  Several had been by to see him...but he couldn't see them...and he wanted to.  It was where he wanted...and needed...to be.

By mid-summer he was well-healed.  He has restrictions for the rest of his life.  But he's already had life-long restrictions because of his vision so this was just a few more restrictions added to the mix.  He was back to being able to drive.  Things were back to normal.

Sort of.

"Normal" just didn't feel right any more.  All that listening, thinking, praying, talking with God had him in a different path.  He had already been headed toward this path for quite some time prior to his surgery...but now it just seemed that nothing short of real purpose was going to be acceptable.  He wanted to use his talents and skills and life experiences to serve God.

I suggested he call Pastor Steve and see if they could meet...just to talk.  And they did.  And boy did that ever go well!  They meet now on a regular basis...and Steve is far more than Scott's pastor...he is a friend, a mentor, a confidante.  Scott is involved in vision-planning at church and he has stepped into an interim children's director position.

Since one year ago today I have seen my husband change.  He has become more relaxed.  He is softer-hearted.  He enjoys things more.  He listens differently.  He hears differently.  He sees life differently...and not just because of his physical sight being affected...but because his "eyes have been opened." 

Go grab your Bible...or just click the link...and look up John 9:1-15.

As I think back on these past 365 days God's love has once again shined through even the darkest of storm clouds.  He has encouraged us and strengthened us in ways we could never have imagined.  He promised in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never leave us and He will never forsake us.  And he hasn't.

God certainly doesn't need to prove Himself to anyone...but every day He shows Himself to me...to my husband...to our family.

He "is."

I know this because I've seen it...I've witnessed it...I've felt it...I've experienced it...through all the ways He has shown His love and His healing...for my husband, my children, me, our family.

As I reflect on all that has happened since one year ago today, I thank God with all my heart for His healing, His steadfast-love, His patience, His honesty, His truth, His warmth and His continual presence in our life.

He...is peace.  Simply and fully.  

Wishing you a peaceFULLYsimple day.

peace.
jeanine

SLEEPING THROUGH THE STORM

I've had a lot on my mind lately.

Personal things...family things...things I need to plan and organize (mostly out of my comfort zone).  There is one thing in particular that has had a tight grip on me.

Yesterday in church our pastor's message was related to the storms in our lives.  The scripture reading the for morning was from Mark 4:35-41.  It reads as follows:

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

Our pastor spoke of how during the trials of life...the storms...we need to ask Jesus to get in the boat with us.  To have faith in Him.  To acknowledge Him.  To invite Him.

Last night I found myself sleeping on the couch.  Not because of a marital spat, or because my husband was snoring or because I couldn't fall asleep.  No...it's because we have a nine-month old puppy who sometimes still has accidents.  Now keep in mind puppies in our house do not sleep in kennels at night.  The sleep with humans in beds.  With three dogs in our house that means there's one dog in each bed.  One with our son, one with our daughter and one with us.  The puppy.  Who last night decided to have an accident on my side of the bed.  Which meant cleaning the mattress...leaving my side of the bed wet.  Yeah...I know...you're thinking kennel...but it just doesn't work that way here.

Anyway...long story short...Scott was able to keep his side of the bed but I took the couch.  Taking the couch always makes me secretly happy (almost giddy) because we have the...absolute...most...comfortable...couch...EVER!  If I knew what sleeping on a cloud felt like, I would say that's what sleeping on our couch feels like!  On the other hand, we also have a really old, uncomfortable and lumpy mattress and I can't tell you the last time I slept well on it or the last time I woke up in the morning not feeling like I had the body of an 80 year old.

So there I was on my comfy cloud couch...snuggled up with my pillows and blankie.  Tired.  Thinking I'd fall right to sleep.

I don't know about you...but this is the time that thoughts/concerns/event planning/ideas, etc. all decide to come to mind.  As soon as my head hits the pillow...BAM...there they are!  Even when I'm on my comfy cloud couch.

Praying at night as I'm falling asleep is not uncommon for me...and then sneaks in the nagging thoughts, etc., and soon I've got a mix of those nagging thoughts, prayer, event planning, prayer, concerns, prayer...I think you get the picture.  The thoughts keep sabotaging my prayers.  So last night I...PRAYED!  I talked and talked to Jesus and told Him how grateful I am for Him being in the boat with me.  That I should know better by now to doubt storms in life because He always...ALWAYS...calms them...and then shows me something more beautiful than I could have imagined on the other side of the storm clouds.  I just kept talking to Him and talking...and talking...and talk...ing...until I found myself wrapped peacefully in His warmth and love and I slept like I haven't slept in a long time.  The only time I woke up is when Scott let the puppy down because she prefers to sleep with (on) her "mamma."  Once she curled up with me I slept even better.  This morning I didn't even wake up before the alarm on my phone went off.

I think there could have literally been a huge thunder and lightening storm last night and I would have slept through it.

Jesus can create such calm in the midst of our stormy hearts...if we remember to ask Him in.

Wishing you a peaceFULLYsimple...and storm-free day!

peace.
jeanine